distrust me

the foundation after breaking it down
disfunctions
distrust shaped by experience or neither
rather stories I end up giving more weight then those of my own.


running through the woods seeing nothing but my inside.

deformed

deformed
still only back to how it was.
the shape as if it remembers.
more loose then I could ever tell it to be.
in that very moment when I neither think nor shape.
the weightlessness of my mind.

shades of a fan

can you hear inside of me
where sound is movement
and lights are dimmed to the lowest.

there, where the very feeling is unfolding
into different shades of a fan.

and my inside is not to be hold back.

restless

in the unfulfilled rests hope.
and pain.which is taken as a one of the five senses.
but why we never understand and yet have urge to do so.

in the unfulfilled lies rest.
i am not and will not.
in the urge for hope.

every limb remembers

my every limb remembers the touch of the ground.

the different feels of when i melt into it.

my bodies memory is working against my brain.

i want to fly and my every muscle tells me the story of the final hit through gravity.

i can tell him different storys.

but in the final end he decides for me.

my muscles refuse against my will.

my body over my brain.memory over will.

devotion

dedication to you.

dedicated for you.

dedicate me.

you saw it.

you got it.

dedicated.

my body in the colours of a rainbow

every single muscle screaming for release to come.
the skin  dipped into all kinds of red and blue.
discovering new conditions.

my leaf dunked hair still  leaves some parts of a fairytale meadow here and there.

the white dress hangs defyingly with its stains of mud from the fall.

all devoted to that image in my head
a longing of communication
in a different way.


what a beautiful thing to do

follow them

follow my thoughts


nothing left but you.
and me alive in the nothing.
without understanding.
i really do not.
why would suffer be needed.
if it was all for the learning.
i doubt.
i need to see wider.
fields again.
the houses are distracting view.


take my weak body and carry it home.
arise my hidden seeds.
so i can be the unhidden me.
seen by the seeder.

my deepest wish

sometimes I ask myself, if a thought, which is following me for years, is a vision.

or just a selfish wish.

what differences vision and wish.

isn't each from you.

but the difference that the one is your thought in an everlasting time line

and the other one a tiny bit of the first, to lead me there...

mein sein

mein sein ist über dich.wie ich dich kennenlerne und kenne und doch wieder nicht.und darüber wie nah du mir bist und wie nah mir dadurch das unheil kommt.

thanks to walter.one of the greatest photo artists i know.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23722070@N06/5433521146/lightbox/

trees and shafts

they will cut of the tree
and there is always a way for death to come in between the shafts of sunlight.

but maybe then I will finally see it.
the tree as it use to be.

the other one

security is the other one in life.

disappear me

disappear me into illusion

hope, the brother of illusion
without illusion there be none.
illusion draws my pictures of hope.

end up hoping an illusion.
hope my illusion into reality, is a disappearing me.

ich baue.
mit glatter oberfläche.
gedanken aber vor allem gefühle versagen.
doch suchen sie mich heim voller geduld.
wohin mit der beklemmenden sucht nach dem sehnen.
doch ist sie die, die mich überhaupt zum bauen führt.
sie bedingen mich.

ein neuer begleiter

ein augenblick entscheidet über den nächsten.
sie hängt,
sie sichert und versichert
und dann fällt sie.
einfach so.
der rücken verformt sich in unmögliche richtungen.
die geräusche, sie nisten sich ins ohr.
wie ein verletztes tier räkeln sie sich.
unumwindbar die bilder die sie mit sich bringen.
die, die durch die ohren sich ins gehirn vorwagen.
und was bleibt ist ein neuer begleiter.
ein altbekannter fremder.